What am I asking for when I ask for self development? I’m asking for the energy to live and thrive in this world. I want to accomplish big goals and build a life filled with opportunities that I pursue. But strength—the kind that helps us accomplish and pursue—doesn’t come out of nowhere. It comes from taking on tough challenges and consistently showing up to do the work.
In other words, asking for a life where my strength grows is also asking for difficult challenges to face. Growth is tied to effort, and effort is tied to discomfort.
If I’m asking for a fitter body, I’m also asking for the discipline to work out and be conscious about my health. If I’m asking for wealth, I’m asking to spend hours figuring out strategies, numbers, and goals—and to work hard for it. If I’m asking to create something new from my ideas, I’m asking to embrace uncertainty and discomfort as I figure it out.
It’s scary to ask for improvement. Self-development often means stepping into the unknown and giving up familiar ways of thinking or acting. It means learning new tools and adapting to new patterns. That process can be deeply uncomfortable.
I think these facts might scare us into avoiding the pursuit altogether. We settle into old patterns because we know that change comes with pain. But here’s the thing: pursuing a life without difficulty doesn’t lead to a challenge-free life. Discomfort will find us one way or another. By being intentional about what we pursue, we can choose the challenges that make sense to us. The ones that keep us moving when times get tough.
One thing I keep in mind is that change has to start with me. It’s tempting to push change onto others—whether it’s because I know how rewarding it can be or because it’s an easy distraction from my own work. But the reality is, the only change I have control over is my own. When I focus on that, I’m channeling my energy into what I can accomplish. That’s the only change I can control. It’s the truth I can rely on. And that’s the focus I’ll keep coming to.
ACTION: Identify one area of your life where you’d like to grow and set a small, manageable challenge to build momentum. Then, take the smallest possible step toward that goal right now—whether it’s writing it down, making a call, or setting a timer to start.
