When life feels chaotic, sometimes my first instinct is to grip harder. I try to handle everything and everyone, convinced that if I don’t, things will fall apart. But instead of fixing the situation, I end up feeling drained and overwhelmed. My sense of humor fades, I lose my flexibility, and I can’t focus on what really matters.
What I’m really doing is chasing control in places it doesn’t exist. I take on responsibilities that aren’t mine, hoping I can guarantee emotional, financial, or physical safety. But that just isn’t how life works.
That’s where Stoic philosophy offers some clarity: focus on what you can control, and let go of the rest.
It sounds simple, but putting it into practice isn’t always easy. At first, I thought I understood it. Then I realized that seeing the line between helping and interfering can be tricky. I believed I was being supportive when I stepped in to manage how others behaved or tried to fix situations that weren’t mine to handle. But I was just wearing myself out.
Letting go is uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels like giving up or walking away. But over time, I’ve learned that letting go isn’t about abandoning—it’s about trusting. Trusting that I don’t have to carry everything, and that by focusing on what I can do, I can create space for what really matters.
These questions help me figure out what’s mine to carry:
- Can I directly change this, or can I only respond to it? If it’s the weather or someone else’s choices, I can’t control it. My power lies in how I respond.
- Did anyone ask me? Am I stepping in because I was asked for help, or am I inserting myself where I’m not needed?
- How important is this? Is this really worth my time and energy, or am I getting stuck in something that doesn’t matter in the long run?
These questions give me the pause I need to step back and see the situation more clearly. They remind me that letting go isn’t about doing less—it’s about choosing better.
The more I practice, the more I feel the shift. Life feels lighter, and I can show up with more energy and focus. Letting go doesn’t mean I care any less—it just means I’m putting my energy where it can actually make a difference.
In the end, Stoicism reminds me that I don’t have to be responsible for everything. When I focus on what’s truly mine, I create space for peace, clarity, and the things that matter most.
ACTION: Take a moment to reflect on something that’s been weighing on you. Ask yourself:
- Can I directly change this, or can I only respond to it?
- Did anyone ask me to take this on?
- How important is this, really?
Let those answers guide you. If it’s something you can let go of, even for a moment, notice how that feels. Redirect your energy toward what’s truly yours to carry.
