For years, I’ve been researching ways to improve my life. I’ve discovered tools and techniques that help me accomplish necessary tasks, navigate difficult times, and maintain productivity.
Much of the information I’ve learned isn’t novel—like you, I’d probably encountered it before in various forms. Simple concepts like, “Say what you mean. Mean what you say. And don’t say it mean,” and, “They’re not doing it to you; they’re just doing it.” These phrases could be straight out of kindergarten lessons and are often dismissed by adults. However, the more I keep these fundamentals in mind, the more I realize that self-help and understanding aren’t always about uncovering something revolutionary—they’re about applying what we already know more effectively.
So why does life feel more manageable now? Why do these simple phrases work? It’s my mindset. This term is frequently used—having the right mindset, thinking positively—and it can seem naïvely optimistic. But when I genuinely began to shift my perspective, it transformed everything.
Consider work, for instance. If I view it as punishment, naturally, I’ll despise it. I’ll trudge through the day, miserable and resentful. But if I adjust my thinking—even slightly—I can begin to see work as an opportunity to develop skills, contribute to society, or find purpose. This shift doesn’t happen instantly, and it doesn’t mean I love every job or workday, but it helps me approach tasks differently.
This might seem like a lofty goal if you’re not in your dream job, but think about the stories we find most inspiring. They often involve people with mundane jobs who still manage to make the best of their situations. They bring joy and positivity to their world purposefully, despite their circumstances. Or consider those who refuse to believe it’s too late for them—changing careers in their 50s and thriving. Or individuals facing seemingly insurmountable challenges who still find ways to persevere. Why? Because they don’t let their situation define them; they take control of their mindset and their path.
Life can be incredibly difficult, challenging, and heartbreaking. If we view our lives solely through this lens, we’d be correct. But by shifting our mindset, we can also recognize that our lives are abundant, meaningful, and valued.
ACTION: When negativity takes over, try talking to yourself like you’d talk to a kindergartener. Be gentle and patient, but also real. Ask yourself what you need to feel better or more grounded, whether it’s taking a break, journaling, or doing something that makes you feel alive. Give yourself the same kindness you’d offer a child—grace to feel, space to reset, and time to get back on track. Treat yourself like you matter because you do.
