Now that I admit, notice, name, and recognize my reactions to emotions like anger, fear, and annoyance, I can practice living with them. Before, I was practicing squashing them down. Now, I’m practicing playing and experimenting with them.
It sounds funny to say that. How would a person practice feelings? Here’s how:
When I’m in a store (so rare) and I need to wait to pay for something, I can grow impatient quickly due to my expectation of quick online checkouts. The feeling I have is “this is a waste of my time.” If I let this negativity run wild, I end up feeling more upset while waiting. But if I accept the feeling of impatience, I know what I’m working with and can navigate it to a different place. By noticing my annoyance, I can actively shift my thoughts. I can decide to think of something else.
The same applies to red lights or any scenario where I need to wait, or when something doesn’t go my way, something hurts, or life throws a lemon in any wayh. All these “unwanted” feelings need to be accepted by me. I don’t want to feel angry, sad, and annoyed but I accept it.
So what do I do? When I live consciously enough to be in my feelings without letting them take over my actions, I can choose my response. Instead of rolling my eyes, I can make a gratitude list. I know, I know! That’s so woo-woo. But that’s what works for me. What also works is not looking at social media unless I’m waiting in line, taking a walk when I want to yell, doing the dishes when I don’t know how to take the next step in my project, or going on a bike ride instead of working through the evening.
The point is that if I practice different responses to my painful emotions, I am building my resilience muscle. I am developing control over my thoughts, and my feelings don’t break me. When I’m unsure what to do, I try to practice the behavior I want to see in the world.
ACTION: Next time you find yourself feeling frustrated or impatient, try this one-minute exercise: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Then, focus on something positive—like a fond memory or something you’re grateful for. This simple shift can help you regain control and respond more calmly to the situation.
