Last night, I had my regular call with my brothers. We meet once a week to catch up, and honestly, I didn’t feel like getting on the call. I was considering canceling when, right on time, the phone rang. I picked it up, and we ended up chatting for hours. I had a blast.
What struck me is how I never want to get on the call, but I always have a good time once I do. We talk about everything, from hobbies to habits, from light topics to deeper ones, and I enjoy every moment. So, why don’t I ever feel like getting on the call? I’ve noticed this pattern with experiences I love doing, like bike rides, going out to eat, or meeting friends. Right before I need to do them, I get this weird, nervous feeling like I’d rather not. But when I push through and show up, I always have a great time.
After reflecting, I realized it’s not the activity I’m avoiding—it’s the transition. I struggle with the moment of switching tasks. Leaving what I was working on, preparing for the new activity, and adjusting to it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like if I stay with the current task, I’ll achieve something (even though, realistically, most tasks don’t have a clear “end” point; there’s always more to do). The transition itself is where I get stuck.
The way I manage it is by moving past that initial thought of “I don’t want to do it.” Over time, I’ve learned to trust the past version of myself—the one who set up the phone call or planned the bike ride. I move myself through the transition without waiting to feel motivated. I trust that the decisions I made earlier are for the benefit of present me.
At the same time, I know I’m not locked into anything. This isn’t a jail sentence. If I start something and genuinely don’t want to continue, I have the option to stop. What’s important is staying mindful of who I am and what I need in the moment. Most of the time, that feeling of resistance isn’t about the task—it’s about the discomfort of switching gears. By trusting both past and present me, I can push through the hesitation and enjoy the things I’ve planned. And if I really don’t want to do it? I have the freedom to choose again.
ACTION: When you feel a familiar resistance to starting something, commit to giving it a go for just one minute. Remind yourself it’s perfectly okay to stop after that if that’s what you need. The important part is taking that first step, even if it’s just for a moment.
