Handling Difficult Relationships Calmly
There are people I have to “get ready” for. I need to set my mind at ease before meeting them because they tend to trigger me. I might feel baited into arguments or discussions I didn’t want to be part of in the first place. I might get frustrated with passive-aggressive comments or even hate […]
Sharing Strength, Not Struggles
A friend of mine is really sick. A close family member is going through a divorce. A loved one is financially struggling. As I mention these struggles it might make you feel bad for me. I might even feel bad for myself. But when I really think about it, none of these problems are mine. […]
When Helping Hurts
I’ve always loved helping. I’d jump in to make someone’s work easier, help their party go smoothly, or even try to boost their self-esteem. It felt good to be the person who set aside my own needs to be of service. But when I really looked at it, I started to see it wasn’t all […]
Stop Giving Advice
A few years ago, I made the decision to stop giving unsolicited advice. It’s been tough to stick with, especially when someone opens up and I think I have the perfect solution. The urge to fix problems is strong. But I’ve come to believe that resisting that impulse makes me a better, kinder person. When […]
You’re Not Helping!
Have you ever thought, “I wish someone could stop you from doing the behavior that you keep complaining about”? Watching someone you love make the same mistake over and over again can be incredibly frustrating. Whether it’s getting into bad relationships, treating their body harshly, or beating themselves up needlessly, it’s hard to see people […]
Mind Your Business – Why Sticking to Your List Empowers You and Others
Ever feel the urge to swoop in and take over other people’s responsibilities? Sure, it might feel like the helpful thing to do in the moment, but sometimes it can backfire. Imagine you’re at a potluck. You’re assigned a simple side dish, a manageable task. But instead, you end up bringing the entire spread: salads, […]
They’re not doing it to you… they’re just doing it.
A friend recently asked me for some advice on a situation. After listening to their dilemma, I offered what I thought were helpful suggestions, based on my own experiences. To my surprise, my friend reacted poorly, almost as if I had attacked them. I felt confused and hurt. “Did I say the wrong thing?” “Was […]
