Why Feelings Matter
How are you? How are you doing? What are you feeling? These questions are everywhere, but they’ve mostly turned into polite greetings. We often respond with a quick, “Fine,” “Can’t complain,” or “Not bad.” But what if we paused and asked ourselves, “What am I really feeling right now?” A lot of us might feel […]
Shifting Mindsets with Simple Tricks
My brother, Michael, recently showed me a clever way he taught his kids to “trick” their minds when faced with something they resist. During my visit, he told his 4-year-old it was time for medicine, which brought instant tears. The anticipated taste was enough to cause a meltdown, so Michael reminded him they could use […]
When Helping Hurts
I’ve always loved helping. I’d jump in to make someone’s work easier, help their party go smoothly, or even try to boost their self-esteem. It felt good to be the person who set aside my own needs to be of service. But when I really looked at it, I started to see it wasn’t all […]
I’m Every Woman
Sometimes I get really loud and excitable and need a party of people to have fun with. Sometimes, I think the world is too loud and I need to be quiet and alone. Sometimes I want to share my controversial opinions and scream them at everyone. Sometimes I just want to sit back and listen. […]
Stop Giving Advice
A few years ago, I made the decision to stop giving unsolicited advice. It’s been tough to stick with, especially when someone opens up and I think I have the perfect solution. The urge to fix problems is strong. But I’ve come to believe that resisting that impulse makes me a better, kinder person. When […]
Don’t Lose Your Mind
I would like to always be kind, thoughtful, and considerate. I think many of us want that. But then, life throws us a tough moment, and we quickly react with a sharp and cruel response. How does that happen? We don’t want to be mean to people we know and love, but stress pushes us, […]
Practice Being Pissed – How to Respond
Now that I admit, notice, name, and recognize my reactions to emotions like anger, fear, and annoyance, I can practice living with them. Before, I was practicing squashing them down. Now, I’m practicing playing and experimenting with them. It sounds funny to say that. How would a person practice feelings? Here’s how: When I’m in […]
Take These Feelings, PLEASE!
First, I admitted I had a rainbow of feelings—emotions that extend beyond sweet joy and happiness to include those associated with negativity like anger, hurt, and sadness. Then I worked on noticing and naming my emotions. The next question became: what do I do about them? In the past, expressing anger hasn’t always led to […]
What Are These Feelings?
How do I get from admitting I have feelings to knowing what they are and when I feel them? It took me a while to even admit I have a range of emotions. What can I do to identify and deal with them when they arise? One big tool I use is to write it […]
Admit You Have Feelings!
I used to believe that feeling ‘negative’ emotions was a sign of weakness. Anger, sadness, fear – these were emotions reserved for villains in movies, not for someone who aspired to be kind and positive. So, I pushed them down, buried them deep, convinced that a life without these dark emotions would be brighter. I […]
