The No Blame Challenge
It’s easy to blame. I can blame my parents for not knowing exactly how to handle my thoughts and emotions growing up. I can blame my exes for hurting me, misleading me, or even lying. I can blame society for not being fully equal or making my day-to-day life harder. And frankly, the list could […]
The Scar Experiment
In 1997, Harvard researchers ran a study that revealed something surprising about self-perception—what we believe about ourselves changes how we think others see us. Participants were told the study was about how facial scars influence social interactions. Makeup artists applied a realistic-looking scar to each participant’s face, making them believe they had a noticeable disfigurement. […]
FINE – Feelings Inside Not Expressed
There have been times when I’ve felt so low, but I didn’t ask for anything. Not because I didn’t need it, but because I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It felt embarrassing to admit something as simple as I need love and affection right now. I wanted the comfort, but I also wanted the […]
HOPE – Hold On, Pain Ends
Pain rarely comes one piece at a time. It usually arrives in waves, piling up until it feels impossible to catch a breath. It’s not just one bad day at work—it’s an argument with someone you love, a financial hit, and a phone call with terrible news, all landing at once. A few years ago, […]
FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real
Fear has a way of making things seem way bigger than they actually are. I’ve avoided so many things—not because they were impossible, but because they felt impossible. But looking back, most of the time, what I feared wasn’t reality. It was just False Evidence Appearing Real. One example that sticks with me is when […]
WAIT – Why Am I Talking?
I had to find a way to stop myself from getting trapped in the same frustrating cycle—repeating myself, saying the same things over and over, desperately trying to get someone I love to finally understand me. I’d catch myself in the middle of a monologue, saying it again for the 58th time, hoping that this […]
Bounce Back Like a Game
Life doesn’t always move in a straight line. Sometimes, it feels like just when we’re climbing up, we hit a slide that sends us back down. It’s frustrating, disheartening, and often, it feels unfair. I’ve felt this in so many ways. In my 40s alone, I’ve faced open-heart surgery, a serious knee injury, and being […]
Face Fear Like a Stoic
I’ve generally felt at ease singing in front of an audience—it’s come pretty naturally to me. But speaking was a different story. Even as an entertainer, I could go through entire sets without saying a single word. It felt safe—I didn’t have to worry about being witty, saying the wrong thing, or stumbling over my […]
Take Control Like a Stoic
There are things we can all point to in life that weren’t fair: the way we were raised, the resources we didn’t have, the struggles handed to us without our say. And we’d be right to feel upset about them. But if we live our lives focusing on how unfair it all is, we end […]
Overcome Suffering Like a Stoic
The Stoics believe that we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. And frankly, that tracks. I’ve caught myself replaying events over and over in my mind, creating entire arguments with people while in the shower, and even convincing myself that the more I love someone, the more I have to worry about them. […]
