There are many beliefs about being a good person and living a virtuous life, and one popular idea is that when you do good for others, good things will come back to you—what some people believe is the essence of karma. But I don’t see it that way.
I don’t think life rewards us with perfect outcomes because we’ve been kind to others. Life isn’t a simple tit-for-tat system. Bad things don’t happen to us because we’ve done something wrong, just as good things don’t happen because we’ve done something right. You don’t avoid misfortune because you’ve been a saint, and your generosity doesn’t guarantee you riches in return.
To me, kindness and goodness aren’t bartering chips. I’ve been kind and patient, yet sometimes, I’ve been met with cruelty. This isn’t a failure of kindness; it’s an illustration of the reality that kindness, when directed at the wrong place, can fall into a void. The real value of kindness, friendliness, and support lies within our own hearts and minds. They resonate with our inner selves, not because they will be reciprocated externally, but because they align with who we want to be.
Kindness feels good because it aligns with my values. If it’s not returned, that’s a reflection of others—not me. So when my kindness meets anger, I have to choose how I respond. I can walk away, knowing I’ve acted according to my values. But I can’t expect others to behave a certain way just because I’ve shown kindness. People will continue to be who they are, regardless of my actions. My goal is to remain true to myself, no matter the situation.
Ultimately, being a “good” or “bad” person affects how we feel about ourselves, rather than controlling the external world. Life doesn’t balance the scales; it’s up to us to stay centered in who we are.
ACTION: Reflect on a time when you did something kind or supportive but received nothing in return. Consider how that act aligned with your values and made you feel internally. Write about it in a journal or talk it through with someone you trust to better understand the real impact of your kindness. Going forward, aim to practice kindness for the internal peace and satisfaction it brings you, regardless of external responses.
