I had to find a way to stop myself from getting trapped in the same frustrating cycle—repeating myself, saying the same things over and over, desperately trying to get someone I love to finally understand me.
I’d catch myself in the middle of a monologue, saying it again for the 58th time, hoping that this time, my words would land differently. But they never did.
Then I heard the acronym WAIT—Why Am I Talking?—and it stuck with me.
WAIT is a simple but powerful reminder to pause before speaking. It’s a way to check in with myself: Am I actually being heard, or am I just talking because I want to feel like I am? Am I adding to the conversation, or am I just repeating myself?
I’m trying to make it a habit to WAIT because when I do, it’s always the right choice.
It helps me realize when I’m over-explaining or when I need to stop pushing for an outcome that isn’t coming. It helps me notice when someone isn’t engaged or when I’m just filling space because silence feels uncomfortable.
And it’s not just about repeating myself—WAIT also helps me listen better. If I jump in too quickly, I might not notice that the other person isn’t finished. I might assume I know what they’re going to say instead of actually hearing them. But when I WAIT, I can pay attention in a way that makes conversations feel more balanced, instead of just waiting for my turn to speak.
It’s uncomfortable at first. I want to explain. I want to make sure I’m understood. But the more I practice WAIT, the more I realize that pausing doesn’t make my words less important—it makes them more intentional.
And sometimes, saying nothing at all says more than repeating myself ever could.
ACTION: Next time you’re in a conversation, take a second to check in with WAIT—Why Am I Talking? Are you being heard, or just repeating yourself? Try pausing—maybe even counting to ten in your head—before speaking again. You might notice something new.
