Before I had tools, I often felt lost, lonely, and anxious, though I didn’t think these feelings needed to be addressed because I also experienced happiness, motivation, and love. I would often flip-flop between these emotions. Feeling a range of emotions isn’t bad, but they would often dictate my actions and override logic, making life unmanageable. And because my life wasn’t completely devastated, I thought this was normal.
The reason I started looking for tools was that I wanted to be happy all the time. It seemed like the perfect goal. After all, who doesn’t want to be happy, right? But here’s what I learned: trying to be happy all the time is unrealistic. I had to stop trying to control the range of emotions I experience and start managing my responses to them. And when I do, that brings me joy.
This means that when I’m sad, I’m not trying to make it go away. Instead, I use tools to manage it. I might try journaling, which helps organize the thoughts in my mind. Or I might reach out to someone. These tools are simple, and they might even seem elementary or childish. But they work. They help me get grounded and connected to who I really am, which allows me to move forward on my own path without intruding on others’.
For these tools to work, I need to practice them regularly. I journal in the morning even if I don’t feel like it. I meditate once a day so that I can do things like pause when I’m feeling overwhelmed. As I use them in a calm state, the tools get sharpened and are more readily and easily used when needed.
ACTION: Pick one tool that resonates with you—whether it’s journaling, meditation, or reaching out to someone—and commit to practicing it daily for the next week. Notice how it feels to use it in both calm and challenging moments, and observe any shifts in how you manage your emotions.
