Who Asked You?

Have you ever felt the sting of giving good, sound, and even necessary advice but the person you’re talking to is so disinterested that you can hear their eyes roll? People tend to reject advice. Especially unsolicited advice. I mean, who asked you anyway?!

Whenever I want to start my sentence with “you know what you should do” I try to stop myself from saying it. First because it is very possible that nobody asked me for this advice. Second, I have to check if what I’m about to say is actually more relevant to me than the person I’m trying to help. Am I even taking the advice I’m about to dole out?

Instead of offering lessons that no one is asking for, I try to listen more and, when I speak, I aim to keep the focus on myself by express my thoughts from my perspective. Like, “when I was in a similar situation, I did this… and it helped me or hurt me in this way”.

This is the practice of being more vulnerable, sharing a real part of myself through my experiences.

Action: Think of someone who can use your advice. Write down what you think they “should” do. Then read that sentence or thought back to yourself and see if you can use that same advice yourself.

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