Craving Chaos
What happens when you feel the itch for a dopamine hit? Sometimes I’ll be working for a while, getting things done, and suddenly it feels like the satisfaction meter is running low. I catch myself wanting more than the quiet contentment of a job well done—I need something *different*.
That’s when I start feeling drawn to things that don’t serve me. For me, that could mean eating something my body doesn’t need, unfairly blaming someone I love, buying something frivolous, or getting angry at myself for not indulging in unnecessary luxuries. It’s easy to choose actions that ultimately sabotage my wellbeing, especially in those moments where I feel like I *need* a jolt of excitement to break up the mundane.
So why do I crave this chaos? It’s probably because I *do* need something—usually something simple like a break, food, or a moment to breathe. But when I’m depleted, my thinking takes a nosedive. I start gravitating toward actions that provide immediate results (good or bad) because my mind is desperate for a win.
As I’ve taken the time to get to know myself, I’m learning to recognize the warning signs when my system is saying “stop.” It’s a work in progress, but tools like meditation, journaling, and yoga have been huge in helping me hit pause. These practices create a buffer between my feelings and my reactions, giving me space to step back before I act impulsively and make things worse.
Changing behaviors to align with what I *need* rather than what I *want* in a moment of anxiety is tough, but the more I practice, the easier it gets. I’m building a new habit of response, and it’s paying off. Practice makes normal.
**ACTION**: When you feel the itch to react impulsively, pause and check in with what you actually need. Use tools like journaling or meditation to create space before responding.
