How I Stop the Worry Cycle
It’d be nice not to get pissed when someone casually says, “Don’t worry about it.” What does that even mean? Isn’t worry supposed to help us think long and hard about solving problems? I’m starting to think it’s not. I’d love to eliminate worry from my mind. Wouldn’t you?
When I worry, my brain starts scanning for every possible outcome. Sounds useful, right? But what’s really happening is that I’m just trying to soothe myself by grasping for certainty about the future. And since we can’t predict the future, most of the worry ends up being pointless and just ramps up my anxiety.
So how do we know when we’re thoughtfully solving a problem versus spiraling into obsessive worry? I run through a quick checklist to help me decide whether to keep thinking or move on:
- Is this thought helpful or useful to me?
- Can I focus on anything else right now?
- Is there an action I can take that would be more helpful than just sitting here thinking?
- Is this even my worry to solve?
Most of the time, when I ask myself these questions, I realize there’s something better I could be doing with my time, and I move away from the thought. This tool hasn’t completely eliminated worry for me, but it’s cut it down significantly. I’ve gotten a lot of my life back in the process. Changing my thought patterns has been a worthwhile experiment. I’m practicing being flexible while staying true to who I am.
ACTION: Next time you’re caught up in worry, try asking yourself these questions and see if you can shift focus to something more productive.
