Stop Worrying
My mind used to slip into relentless loops of repetitive thoughts—about my workload, family worries, and all the other “bla bla bla” of life. But with practice, I’ve learned that I actually have the ability to decide where my thoughts go and what I think about throughout the day. It didn’t happen overnight, though. It takes effort to interrupt the habit of obsessing over my to-do list while trying to sleep, stressing about my family while grocery shopping, or resenting my workload while playing with my nephews.
As painful as those thoughts can be, you’d think it would be a joy to stop them and focus on something more useful. But, in a way, I was addicted to the cycle of “figuring it out”—constantly working every angle in my mind so I could be “ready” for anything. What it actually did was rob me of being present for my life. I’d be at a gathering with friends, but mentally stuck in my relentless thoughts. I’d say no to fun activities because I was too busy worrying, and even if I went, I wasn’t really there.
Neuroscientists have discovered that our brains have neuroplasticity—the ability to change and reshape themselves based on what we learn, even in adulthood. In other words, we can change our minds. So I figured, if I get to choose what I think about, why imagine a freight train crashing into my house when I can picture myself by a waterfall in a bug-free, warm environment, being fed grapes (or french fries)?
Changing thoughts is hard because I’d convinced myself that I needed to “fix” everything. In reality, I was just using those difficult situations as distractions via thought. Thinking about our problems isn’t always bad—we need to use our minds to make good choices—but repeated worry with no action is just wasted time.
So how do I know which thoughts are helpful and which need a break? When I catch myself spiraling, I’ve learned to ask, “Is this thought useful? Do I need to think about this right now? Do I need help with this?” Mindful techniques like meditation, journaling, and yoga have helped a lot.
It’s become a habit now—interrupting my regularly scheduled worrying and trying out different thoughts. It can feel uncomfortable at first, but then again, so do those relentless thoughts.
ACTION: Next time your mind spirals into relentless worry, pause and ask, “Is this thought useful right now?” Try practicing a mindful technique—whether it’s journaling, deep breathing, or visualizing yourself in a calm, peaceful place.
