What Are These Feelings?
How do I get from admitting I have feelings to knowing what they are and when I feel them? It took me a while to even admit I have a range of emotions. What can I do to identify and deal with them when they arise?
One big tool I use is to write it down. To keep in touch with my feelings, I’ve made it a habit to journal as part of my morning routine. Having a dedicated notebook for my writing gives me opportunities to jot things down throughout the day if I feel like it. Just knowing where my writing utensils are is helpful.
When I get big feelings that might be hard to manage, I reach for my journal. My aim is not to write down exactly what feeling I have, and it’s not to figure out which feeling it is. It’s to free-write with no expectation.
When I write with no goal, I can jot down my thoughts like a narrator, and it often reveals my feelings. For example, if I find that I’m writing things like, “I can’t believe they gave him that award. Who does he even think he is,” I didn’t name the feeling in my writing, but reading it back, there’s a sense of jealousy or envy. If you find yourself writing things like, “Ooh, I love the way she tosses her hair back and checks her nails. I wonder how she’s doing,” you might be feeling enchanted or captivated.
Writing it down is a great way to organize thoughts and learn more about how we’re feeling.
ACTION: Take one minute each day to write in a journal. Don’t worry about labeling your feelings right away. Simply write freely about your thoughts and experiences. Over time, patterns will emerge that help you identify and understand your emotions.
