They’re not doing it to you… they’re just doing it.

A friend recently asked me for some advice on a situation. After listening to their dilemma, I offered what I thought were helpful suggestions, based on my own experiences. To my surprise, my friend reacted poorly, almost as if I had attacked them.

I felt confused and hurt.  “Did I say the wrong thing?” “Was I too harsh?”  I thought I was being kind and helpful.

The truth is that their reaction is a reflection of them, not me.

It’s easy to take things personally, especially when it comes from someone we trust. But, people have their own baggage, insecurities, and ways of handling situations. Sometimes, even the most well-intentioned advice can trigger those vulnerabilities.

I like being there for my friends, but it’s also okay to protect my own feelings.  If someone consistently lashes out after I offer advice, it might be best to limit the kind of support I offer.

I have to remember that kindness is never a mistake.  It’s a strength and a core value worth holding onto. However, it’s also important to protect myself from negativity.  By understanding that someone’s reaction is about them, not me, I can navigate these situations with compassion, boundaries, and ultimately, self-care.

ACTION: Got your feelings hurt? Establish a boundary. Stay kind, but choose how much support you offer to protect your own well-being.