Know My No

Saying “no” was an alien concept in my vocabulary. Friends, family, colleagues – everyone received an automatic “yes” from me, regardless of the request. This “help-everyone-always” attitude wasn’t heroism, it was people-pleasing gone wild. My own needs became buried under a constant barrage of unrealistic deadlines and unexpected errands for others.

Helping everyone meant pushing my own challenges aside. Celebrating others’ successes meant my goals gathered dust. It wasn’t sustainable.

Now, I’m approaching things differently. Every “yes” comes with a silent “no” attached. Lunch with a friend? Grocery shopping waits. Helping at work? My personal time takes a backseat. This isn’t to say I no longer value social interaction or helping out. However, to avoid burnout and overwhelm, I now consider the “no” behind every “yes” and vice versa. Balance is key.

ACTION: Today, before you agree to something, take a moment to consider its impact. Ask yourself: “What other commitments might this ‘yes’ require me to say ‘no’ to?’ and ‘On the flip side, by saying ‘no’ to this, what opportunities or goals am I opening up for myself?'”