Stop Giving Advice
A few years ago, I made the decision to stop giving unsolicited advice. It’s been tough to stick with, especially when someone opens up and I think I have the perfect solution. The urge to fix problems is strong. But I’ve come to believe that resisting that impulse makes me a better, kinder person.
When people share their problems, it might seem like they’re looking for answers, but jumping in with solutions often sends the wrong message. It can imply that I know better than they do or that I don’t trust them to handle it on their own. Even if my advice helps, it could rob them of the chance to solve things themselves, building their own resilience.
But what about when someone else’s decision directly impacts my life—whether it’s a friend, partner, or boss? Do I have the right to offer a solution then? The short answer is no. We can only control ourselves. Forcing, pushing, or even pleading doesn’t help. If we don’t like the situation, we change how we approach it.
Instead of offering unsolicited advice, we can set boundaries, ask questions, or give advice to ourselves. In fact, I believe that most of the advice we feel compelled to give others is often the advice we need to follow the most.
ACTION: Next time you feel the urge to give someone advice, pause and reflect. Ask yourself: Is this advice I need for myself? Focus on what you can control, and give people the space to navigate their own path.
