Face Fear Like a Stoic
I’ve generally felt at ease singing in front of an audience—it’s come pretty naturally to me. But speaking was a different story. Even as an entertainer, I could go through entire sets without saying a single word. It felt safe—I didn’t have to worry about being witty, saying the wrong thing, or stumbling over my words. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t how I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be scared to speak, whether on stage or off.
The Stoics have a term for the approach that helped me: voluntary discomfort. It’s the practice of intentionally stepping into situations that feel uncomfortable so we can grow stronger and less reliant on ease. It’s not about controlling outcomes—it’s about preparing ourselves for life’s challenges.
Life will always have challenges, and change can feel overwhelming when it takes us by surprise. But when we step into discomfort willingly, we get to choose the scale and setting. That means we can approach it with tools, support, and the mindset we need to navigate it. This intentional practice doesn’t guarantee results, but it does make the experience less intimidating. We’re rehearsing how to meet challenges with more clarity and confidence instead of just fear and overwhelm.
For me, that meant starting with baby steps. I’d add a sentence or two between songs. Sometimes it felt exhilarating, like I was breaking through a wall. Other times, it came out awkward, and I felt embarrassed. But every time I tried, I proved to myself that I could handle the discomfort. And slowly, speaking on stage became less scary.
It wasn’t always comfortable. There were times I second-guessed myself, moments I leaned on support, and even tears along the way. But discomfort I chose was easier to face than challenges I wasn’t prepared for. By practicing in manageable steps, I showed myself I was capable of more than I thought.
The Stoics remind us that challenges can feel intimidating, even scary. But fear doesn’t have to stop us. By practicing discomfort intentionally, we prepare ourselves to face life’s inevitable hurdles. We also learn to act despite the fear, instead of waiting for it to go away.
This practice is freeing. It reminds me that I don’t have to avoid challenges to feel safe—I have to show up for them. And every time I face discomfort, I gain a little more confidence, clarity, and strength.
ACTION: Identify one small step into discomfort that feels manageable today. Maybe it’s starting a conversation you’ve been avoiding, trying something new, or facing a task that feels intimidating. Plan the tools or support you might need, and give yourself permission to start without aiming for perfection. Notice how it feels to take that step—it’s not about the outcome, but about proving to yourself that you can face the fear and move forward.
