Which Way Do I Go Now?
Self-help information can sometimes sound confusing, even contradictory. One moment, I’m talking about the importance of taking breaks, and the next, I’m advocating for pushing through feelings and continuing to work. Sometimes, I emphasize the importance of doing the work, while at other times, I stress the need to play and relax. It can be hard to know which advice to follow and when.
I’ve realized that self-help isn’t about having certainty (nothing is certain) but about creating flexibility within myself. It’s about noticing my options and paying attention to what works for me in any given moment. It helps me to see life as a trip. I have access to maps, examples, and all kinds of information, but just like on any road trip, I might want to take a different turn or stop somewhere other than I originally planned, or I might get a flat tire or have an accident.
When I’m lost, self-help doesn’t give me all the answers; it gives me the tools I need to make simple and difficult decisions throughout my day. By taking time to work on myself, I get to know who I am and how I want to react to life. This self-knowledge helps me make better decisions.
For example, when I used to feel overwhelmed, I didn’t know how to handle it. I withdrew, I procrastinated, I cried and felt helpless. With self-help, I don’t lose myself in temporary set backs. I am way more able to see alternative possibilities that will help me find my way. I remember that I have options. I can choose to take a break, step back, and breathe, or I can decide to push through and see what happens. Both choices are valid, and it’s up to me to decide which one feels right in the moment.
Practicing self-help also means being kind to myself when things don’t go as planned. If I decide to take a break and it doesn’t help, that’s okay. If I push through and still feel stuck, that’s okay too. I’m not shrugging disappointment away. I’m using the feeling to understand what I need.
Self-help is about building a toolkit of strategies and knowing that I have the flexibility to use them when I need them. I give myself the freedom to explore, make mistakes, and learn from them.
ACTION: One-Minute Reset: Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Focus on your breathing for one minute, allowing your thoughts to settle. This brief pause can help you clear your mind, reduce stress, and gain a fresh perspective on whatever you’re working on. Practice this reset whenever you feel overwhelmed or stuck.
