Confronting Unwanted Feelings

What happens when you’re confronted with feelings you don’t want to have? For a long time, I made a habit of pushing them down. They felt ugly, and I wanted them hidden, not just from everyone else but from myself as well. I didn’t want to be the kind of person who felt loneliness, anger, and hopelessness. I considered those weak thoughts, and they made me uncomfortable.

The truth is, if those feelings were weak, I’d be able to go through them without pain or problems. The reason I don’t want to feel these things is that they are tough to experience. And the reason I feel uncomfortable is that dealing with feelings is vulnerable, and when there’s no practice, it feels new every time.

Pushing down feelings is like pushing a beach ball underwater. All your energy and focus have to be spent on holding the beach ball down. When you can no longer hold it, it flies out of the water with speed and lack of control.

Here are some tools that I practice using to help me feel my feelings without letting them take over:

Take It Slowly: I don’t have to feel all the feelings at once. If I process my thoughts slowly, I can understand them better and let them go. It’s like peeling an onion, layer by layer.

Journal Freely: It sounds cliché, but writing my thoughts has been incredibly therapeutic. I practice writing without judgment, allowing the words to flow onto the page. This way, I can work out what’s really going on inside my head in a safe space.

Seek Support: Sometimes, navigating my thoughts and emotions on my own is too challenging. Having friends and family to openly share with and help process what I’m going through is invaluable. Additionally, joining like-minded groups where I can talk my issues out or just listen to others express themselves has been a game-changer.

Mindfulness Practices: Incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation into my routine helps me stay grounded. Meditation helps me pause and gain control over my thoughts, reducing the overwhelming nature of intense emotions.

Practice makes normal. When I practice noticing my feelings long enough to care for them, I can move on. It’s okay if I don’t have everything figured out in this moment. I can slowly move through my feelings and still be productive.