Sharing Strength, Not Struggles
A friend of mine is really sick. A close family member is going through a divorce. A loved one is financially struggling. As I mention these struggles it might make you feel bad for me. I might even feel bad for myself. But when I really think about it, none of these problems are mine.
That might sound harsh. I know the lives of the people we love can affect us deeply—they bring us joy and, sometimes, fear. But let’s be real. When we’re going through something tough ourselves, do we need everyone around us to struggle too, just so we feel less alone? No. That’s not what helps. We don’t need to weigh each other down.
If my friend is in the hospital, it doesn’t help to call her crying about her illness. I don’t need to feel her pain or add to it. That doesn’t mean I can’t sit with her in her sadness or share the weight of the moment. But I need to remember that it’s her struggle, not mine. I don’t have to take it on. I can be supportive without making her pain about me. It’s important not to hijack the pain and make it my own.
ACTION: Next time someone you love is struggling, ask yourself: “How can I support them without making their pain my own?” If you feel pulled into the emotions, pause. Offer what you can—whether it’s practical help or simply your presence—but remember, it’s not about taking on their burden. Stay anchored in your own strength.
