Learning to Manage Setbacks
A couple of days ago, I had an appointment to remove the cast I’ve been wearing on my hand and arm for six weeks. I’ve been counting down the days for this thing to come off. With the cast on, I can’t wash my own hair, I can’t bike (something I usually do every day), and even simple tasks like zipping my coat have become a struggle. Knowing the appointment was coming gave me something to look forward to—freedom was so close.
At the appointment, they took off the cast, took an x-ray, and then…put the cast right back on. I felt the tears forming but held them back, mentally scheduling a good cry for later. Before the appointment, I’d planned to try out some bikes afterward and finally go home to wash and style my own hair. These plans, small but meaningful, were suddenly taken away.
As I sat there watching them reapply the cast, the technician must have noticed my expression. Out of nowhere, she said, “Get out of your head.” I couldn’t help but laugh. She was right. In my head, I was already listing everything I couldn’t do and spiraling into the frustration of it all.
The truth is, I can torture myself in my own head—and my body doesn’t know the difference. If I let my thoughts dwell on suffering, my body reacts like I’m in crisis. But here’s where I have a choice: I can let myself be a victim for the next six weeks, or I can control my mind and remind myself that I got hit by a car—and I’m healing.
Honestly, I choose both. I need time to mourn the plans I had and grieve what feels like a loss. But I also practice interrupting those thoughts and shifting to useful ones. The more I do this, the faster I move forward. I cry for a little while, then remind myself that life rarely goes exactly the way I want. From there, I can get to gratitude more quickly.
This isn’t about pretending everything is okay. I know the setbacks are real. The cast is annoying, and it’s frustrating to be limited. But I also know that setbacks aren’t everything. Practicing this dual awareness—acknowledging the full picture—helps me see that there’s always something to cry about and always something to be grateful for. There’s always a way to notice both.
ACTION: The next time you’re overwhelmed by a setback, pause and notice your thoughts. Give yourself a moment to feel the frustration, then gently interrupt the spiral. What’s one thing you can be grateful for in this moment? Take a deep breath, and let the two truths sit together.
