Take What Works with Support

A few years ago, I started going to a support group. I was nervous about joining because I grew up in an environment with a lot of rules—the kind where stepping outside of expectations brought shame, not just on you but on your whole family and community. So when I first heard the phrases and steps used in meetings, I worried it was another rigid structure I’d have to follow or be shunned.

But what I found was a huge relief. My experience is that support groups aren’t about following strict doctrine. One of the first things I heard was: “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

For me, the group meetings were about personal tools and coping strategies. I was encouraged to listen, try what resonates, and gently set aside the rest. There’s no test to pass and no need to agree with everything. I was welcomed into the room just as I was, and got to build my own practice from what spoke to me.

What I appreciated most was the warmth. I didn’t have to ‘get’ everything right away. I could sit with my feelings, listen to others, and simply be myself—without pressure, without commitment.

That idea has stayed with me far beyond the meetings. In everyday life, I try to practice the same approach: be myself, listen, try what helps, release what doesn’t. I don’t have to accept every suggestion or follow every rule to the letter. I can hear someone’s journey, take in what resonates, and borrow what’s useful—without needing to adopt the rest.

I take what helps me grow, let the rest go, and stay connected.

ACTION: Today, as you move through conversations, advice, or anything you’re taking in—pause and notice what feels helpful. You don’t have to agree with everything. Take what supports you. Leave the rest. That’s enough.