FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real
Fear has a way of making things seem way bigger than they actually are. I’ve avoided so many things—not because they were impossible, but because they felt impossible. But looking back, most of the time, what I feared wasn’t reality. It was just False Evidence Appearing Real.
One example that sticks with me is when I first started attending a women’s group. Each week, people take turns sharing, and to keep things fair, we use a timer. Someone has to volunteer to be the one to give a one-minute warning and let people know when time is up—no matter what they’re talking about.
I watched people raise their hands for this role every week. And every week, I sat back, thinking I could never do that. The idea of speaking up, interrupting someone who might be crying, or enforcing a rule when I felt too small to hold authority—it all felt overwhelming. I thought people would be upset with me. That I’d fumble my words. That I’d make the meeting awkward.
That was the “false evidence.”
The reality? When I finally pushed past my fear and volunteered, I learned that people needed me to keep time. They weren’t mad. They weren’t caught off guard. They expected the reminder. And instead of being annoyed, most of them thanked me.
It wasn’t just about the timer, though. It was about realizing that fear had been holding me back from something that wasn’t scary at all. It was about learning to trust myself in uncomfortable moments. It was about recognizing that sometimes, I have to be the one to set a boundary—even if it feels unnatural.
Fear will make you think you’re not ready. That you’re not capable. That people will judge you or be upset. But most of the time, that’s just a story. And the only way to prove it wrong is to step forward and see what’s actually true.
ACTION: Think of something that fear has been keeping you from doing. What’s the false evidence making it feel impossible? Take one small step today—even if it’s just imagining what could happen if things actually go well.
