Connection with Practice
Religious communities usually come with built-in connection. Weekly gatherings. Holiday meals. People celebrate and grieve together. That was my experience growing up Jewish. I’ve been to Seders, Shabbat dinners, and other Jewish gatherings. As an adult, I’ve also celebrated Christmas and Easter with friends’ families. There’s something really beautiful about coming together to eat, to sing, to mark a moment. That part—the gathering, the connection—I’ve always loved.
But it got complicated. In the religious spaces I knew, connection often came with conditions. Belonging was tied to belief. I had to agree with everything or risk being judged—or worse, left out. That part didn’t feel like connection at all.
So I stepped away. I stopped going to places that didn’t feel safe to be fully myself. But I didn’t stop craving community.
What I’ve realized over time is that I still want and need those shared moments—just without the pressure to be someone I’m not. I want spaces where people come together to talk, eat, support, and just hang out. Sometimes that looks like a group text thread. Sometimes it’s a friend who drops off food when I’m sick. Sometimes it’s sitting in a circle of strangers who speak openly without trying to fix or judge anyone.
Community doesn’t have to come from a religious structure. It can come from a shared sense of humor, a hobby, a philosophy—anything that helps people feel connected. I’ve built community through group camping trips, birthday dinners, and gatherings for no reason other than “it’s warm out.” I even hosted a dinner the night before my major surgery. It kept my mind focused on being with people I love instead of worrying about the next day.
Even though I don’t participate in traditional religious life anymore, I still borrow from what I grew up with. I remember holiday meals with my extended family—people packed around a table, eating, telling jokes, and sometimes even singing. I loved that. And I don’t think we have to let go of those feelings just because we no longer follow the beliefs we were raised with. We can take what worked and make it our own.
ACTION: Think about a time you felt connected—maybe a shared meal, a group text that made you laugh, or a moment when someone showed up for you. What made it feel good? This week, try to create one small connection: start a thread, make a plan, reach out to someone who’s been on your mind. Connection doesn’t have to be big to matter. Take one small step that feels real to you.
