Take Care Like a Parent

There’s a reason airlines tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first. Not because you matter more—but because if you’re gasping for air, you’re no good to anyone else.

Parents give so much of themselves. They sacrifice time, energy, sleep, and space. It’s part of the job. But even the most loving parent hits a wall when their own needs have been ignored too long. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And you can’t show up with patience, warmth, or attention if you’re completely depleted.

I’ve learned that the hard way. When I ignore my own needs, it doesn’t go well. I’ve had moments where I’ve snapped at someone for something small—only to realize later that I was running on no sleep, no food, and no breaks. I’ve cried “out of nowhere,” felt overwhelmed by little things, or disappeared from people I care about—all because I didn’t stop to refill what was running low.

And I’m not talking about luxurious self-care. This isn’t about massages or bubble baths. I mean the basics: eating food that gives me energy. Showering and putting on clothes that make me feel human. Getting enough rest to stop feeling like I’m dragging myself through the day.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. A rough night or a skipped meal here and there won’t ruin everything. But when I get in the habit of putting myself last, I start showing up in ways I don’t like—short-tempered, scattered, resentful, or checked out.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s responsible. It’s how we stay grounded enough to care for others. It’s how we access the parts of ourselves that are thoughtful, supportive, and kind.

So when I start to feel off, I try to pause and ask: Have I eaten today? Have I slept? Do I need a shower or a moment alone? Because I’ve learned that when those basic needs are unmet, everything else feels harder than it has to.

Refueling isn’t indulgence. It’s maintenance. And when we take care of ourselves, we give everyone else a better version of us to be around.

ACTION: Check in with yourself today. Ask: What basic need have I been skipping? Food, rest, quiet, movement? Pick one small way to refill your tank—not as a reward, but as maintenance. Even a little care goes a long way when it comes to showing up well.

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