It Wasn’t Me: When Your Behavior Surprises You
Have you ever surprised yourself with your reaction to something? It can be a confusing feeling when our response doesn’t match who we think we are. For example, if you consider yourself a calm person but find yourself yelling in a situation, there’s a disconnect to explore. This happens because our behavior isn’t always a perfect reflection of the self-image we hold.
To understand these unexpected reactions, first, we have to gain some self-awareness:
- How often do you react in unexpected ways? It might be more frequent than you realize. Pay attention to situations that trigger emotions that seem out of character.
- How many times does someone need to treat you a certain way before you believe that’s truly who they are? We often mirror behavior back at others. Consider if your reaction might be a reflection of how you’re being treated, rather than your core nature.
- If that wasn’t you who reacted, then who was it? Sometimes, reactions come from unfamiliar parts of ourselves. Maybe a past experience or a deeply ingrained belief surfaced in the moment.
- Maybe you internalized a “parental voice” that called you irritating. This “mom voice,” or a similar figure’s voice, could be influencing your response in a way that doesn’t resonate with who you are today.
We all have many facets to our personality. By understanding who you truly are, you can learn to respond from that place, not the conditioned patterns of the past.
It’s not always easy to navigate life’s situations, but self-awareness empowers you to respond authentically, in a way that aligns with your values and inner character.
ACTION: Next time you notice that you are about to react with a big emotion, pause. Consider doing something else. Instead of reacting to a person in the heat of the moment, react on paper. Write your reaction down. This self-reflection can help you understand how you feel first so that you can respond in a way that aligns with your true character. With practice, a pause will become second nature. This pause will help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and how to navigate life’s situations with greater self-awareness.
